After talking about behavior flexibility and how there are no resistant listeners, only inflexible communicators, it's time to take it a bit further. Consider that a person's reaction to your communication could actually be a function of your communication.
So, last week I had a huge misunderstanding with a good friend of mine. I was speaking with her about an agreement between us and I made a suggestion that she interpreted as me telling her to go and ask a third party for help. Two days later, I found out that this third party was upset with me because I had pulled them into the agreement between me and said friend of mine.
When we finally got to the bottom of it, we discovered that I said something that she interpreted in a different way, and then took an action consistent with that. It all got worked out, and we clarified what I actually meant.
Is it possible to say that it was my fault? Probably not directly, but I do have to be responsible for the way I communicated.
Being Responsible for Our Communication
"Does that mean I have to be responsible for everyone's reaction to what I say?" Not really. We can't control other people's reactions, but we can sharpen our communication skills to land our message in the best way possible.
You see, if we are 100% responsible for OUR communication it allows for us to get better and better so that as time goes on we are more confident, clear and have less mishaps like I did with my friend. Makes sense?
I'm not suggesting that we walk on eggshells for people either. Once again, that is expecting to control other people's reactions. There is a difference. This is a practice in saying what you mean but in a way that others ALSO experience clearly your intention. Make sense?
- You are responsible of how you communicate with other people: Make sure to be as clear as possible when communicating your message. If that's not the case, the other person can misunderstand you.
- You are not responsible of how other people react to you message, but you can change your approach: You can't control other people's reactions, but you are able to see where your message lands. Evaluating this can help you looking for better ways to deliver your communication.
- You are responsible of improving your way of communicating: Investing time and resources in getting better while communicating can lead you to be more confident, clear, and concise.
Ready for positive belief change? Ready to get rid of the negative emotions, limiting beliefs and self doubt standing in the way of you living your best life?