Why the Conscious Use of Language is so Important as a Parent
How do I use NLP in my parenting? Since we've all been pulled into school work at home, this might be an interesting topic for you.
My son is a conversational, intelligent 6-year-old negotiator. Here's what NLP is helping me with while raising him.
Being Aware of What I Teach Him
We are the human model for our kids. We are who they're going to look at and say "this is the right way to act and the right way to speak". And this happens not only when we have direct communication with them, but also when we are out in the world interacting with others… because they are watching us. At restaurants, business meetings, family gatherings, taxis, etc. Your kids are listening to you and actively picking up your model.
Anchoring Exercises for Times of Crisis
In NLP, "anchoring" refers to the process of associating an internal response with something external. For example, back in October, my son told me that he had an exam he was nervous about. To boost his confidence and concentration, we did an anchoring exercise. You could tell the difference. He was relaxed and did very well! It also set a precedent for him, and he's not afraid of tests anymore.
The same can be done for emotionally charged responses. When they are nervious, sad, angry, impatient, etc. Keep in mind that adapting behavior avoids directing orders. I don't have to say "sit down" or "stop". This is about asking questions that will make our children tink critically about what it actually means to do the right thing.
We have a system in my house, in which he earns stars accordingly to how he behaves. Three stars are top-tier. When there are challenges or difficult times, I ask him if he is conscious about his behavior and if it's something deserving of three stars. He has time to reflect on the question, as well as his actions.
NLP empowers kids and lets parents be more creative in the way they raise and teach. Connect with yourself and deepen your self-journey, understanding about your job and hobbies, and your relationships - including the ones with your children.
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