Everything you do is a communication. It's not what you say it. It's how you say it. Only 7% of communication is verbal, and the rest is non-verbal. The rest includes tone, volume, body movement, facial expressions, pauses, silences, and many other things. You CANNOT NOT communicate! Ways of Communicating  Facial Expressions: There is strong e...

After talking about behavior flexibility and how there are no resistant listeners, only inflexible communicators, it's time to take it a bit further. Consider that a person's reaction to your communication could actually be a function of your communication. So, last week I had a huge misunderstanding with a good friend of mine. I was speaking with ...

The resistance to communication is actually a sign of a lack of rapport. I remember one time I was driving into a parking deck and I bumped into this grumpy parking attendant. I got my ticket and paid him. He sort of shoved the parking ticket in my hand and we just went our separate ways. I thought to myself "What is wrong with him? I didn't do any...

In communication we need to remember that we are doing the best we can with the resources we have. However, we can adapt. I'm an 80's kid. Back then, the way our parents communicated with us was different. Phrases like "because I said so", "When we go to the store, don't ask for nothing", "Back in the day, when I was your age…" were part of our upb...

A person with the most flexibility controls the system, because flexibility gives you more choices. We're not talking about external influence, but internal influence. We're talking about mental flexibility, behavioral flexibility. Inflexible people don't like change. What happens when we get stuck in our own behavior or mental inflexibility? We be...

I wanted to talk about incongruence in communication, and how you can actually improve communication by listening. Have you ever - while talking to someone - felt like they are saying one thing, but something else is going on down the surface... like something is off? It's Possible to Figure Out the Real Message  Do you remember the show "Lie ...

If we want to have a chance of changing the current situation, we will need to dismantle conversations at the unconscious level. There is a difference between the world itself and how we experience it.​ Perception​ Each person has a different model of the world. That personal view is our reference of reality, and not necessarily reality itself. The...

Transformation really happens on the unconscious level. People act the way they do because people learn how to be a certain way on an unconscious level. There can be no change if we don't begin to get at this at the UNCONSCIOUS level when the consciousness has NOT SHIFTED. What Does it Take to Make a Transformation?  #1 Being Open To the Exist...

When you are envisioning and creating what you want, it's important to be as specific as possible, or else you could produce unintended results. It's the unconscious mind specificity. With the unconscious mind, "the inside matches the outside". The unconscious mind likes to have direction from the conscious mind. If there is no rapport, the unconsc...

You've probably heard how it takes 21 days to make a habit. But the ones who know the unconscious mind, know the real underlying mechanism of forming habits. How important it is to have those unconscious elements in order to really have power in our lives!​ Building Up Habits​ The unconscious mind need a fair amount of repetition to build up habits...